3–4 minutes

6: Blinded by the Light

636 words, 3 minutes read time (Double post + Palatine extra credit)

As Day 6 began, I speedwalked from the bus stop to our meeting point to get there in time, only to turn back around to find a different entrance for our class to begin. My feet were and still are very sore, but I’m growing used to all the walking. The Roman Forum acts as a retrospective view into the transition from the Roman Republic to the Roman Empire, particularly through structures like Caesar’s Temple blocking our view of the Regia, and it was intriguing to see this and the various other stages of development or disarray the other spots we looked at were in. When studying history, transitional periods are often some of the most interesting to me: What changes stuck and which were abandoned?

Another temple repurposed into a Catholic church!

Though amazing to walk through and a great exercise to test what I’ve learned through this course (those pillars are called Corinthian pillars, NOT Constantinian pillars), I caught my mind continually drifting back to Rachel and Jessica’s presentation on the Vestal Virgins. It’s hard to swallow how one of the few paths women had to actual rights in Ancient Rome, such as large quarters and financial safety (Aicher 129-30), was trapped with the death penalty for only an accusation of unchasteness. Once again, women throughout history and in the present are expected to follow arbitrary or impossible guidelines for the powers that men can have in at least a hundred less steps. I continued my trek throughout the Forum in the blazing heat with a slowly-simmering rage.

A statue of Attis in a building of the Roman Forum.

Thinking back to the present, I’ve found that I’ve set nigh-impossible guidelines for myself without realizing. Though I’d love to speak more about all the little things that have bothered me this day or the weird hairbrush I bought or how small I still feel amongst this deep history after a week of being entrenched in it, another part of me feels like those things wouldn’t be “correct” to write about. Once I’m handed a seemingly-right way to do things, I’m too scared to veer off that path. So once Professor Yarrow encouraged us to venture outside of the suggested prompts, I felt that same sense of anxiety. I set a mental goal for myself to try to put as many prompts aside as I can for this post and to just write without overthinking it.

Our class today ended earlier than I thought, so we were given the rest of the day to spend as we please. Like several others, I decided to continue my time on the site by visiting the Palatine, but I wanted to remember it by the things that made me the most attuned to it, not by what I or others expect it to be remembered by. Stopping to ask Khadija if she knew what kind of flowers were growing on the railings overlooking the Palatine Stadium, viewing the Domus Transitoria and snapping a picture of its description before catching up with everyone else, and stopping in the shade on a bench outside the Palatine museum for our group to eat our packed lunches when we weren’t supposed to be (thanks to that museum worker for turning a blind eye) are a few highlights I’m remembering while writing this.

The Palatine Stadium. @Beyonce please put on a concert here for Khadija before we leave!

Once I and a couple others decided to head back home from our Palatine visit instead of exploring longer and grabbing a few things off my shopping list, I was completely exhausted. I napped for two hours while the repairmen took a look at our apartment’s broken ACs, but I still don’t feel awake. Hoping for a good night’s sleep and more energy for tomorrow!

3 responses to “6: Blinded by the Light”

  1. khadijafall905 Avatar
    khadijafall905

    waiting very (im)patiently for a Rome Beyonce concert but if we all @ her I think she’ll consider it 🙂‍↕️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rachel19281 Avatar
    rachel19281

    It is interesting to see how women throughout history are “granted” more power but at the same time there is always a drawback or punishment. Even more was that the accusations against them were to hurt the powerful family they represent, so it’s even more upsetting. I like that you are looking for things that call to you, and the little flowers are something that always stand out to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. josephpaige02 Avatar
    josephpaige02

    Totally relate to your difficulty stepping outside of expectations. Often I find that I’m searching for a person to tell me exactly how I need to live my life, perform a task, etc, and if I don’t have that I can spiral or not try at all. It’s very difficult to make your own path, even in small things like blog posts.

    Liked by 1 person

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