Rome via Brooklyn

769 words, 4 minutes read time – DOUBLE POST

DISCLAIMER – I’ve been struggling and questioning how much trauma dumping is too much for what are supposed to be fun, slice of life blog posts for our time in Italy. And while my time here these last two weeks has been incredible, it’s also been colored by intense, unyielding grief. Therefore, as much as I don’t want it to be, it’s a big part of my experience here that I can’t not write about.

So, with that being said, I’m giving “permission” (so to speak) for you all to completely ignore my posts because they will probably cover some pretty uncomfortable topics and feelings. Or, if you choose to read them, don’t feel obligated to comment on anything other than the class and what we’ve done as a group on that day. I’ll do my best to add trigger warnings here and there, but this disclaimer kinda serves as one big one for my posts moving forward.

It was so interesting being in the Colosseo again after the last time I was there in 2008. I distinctly remember the ruins and taking pictures in front of them at the time – I wish I still had access to those photos for a before and after. I was happy to see it again, though, since this time I have background knowledge on some of the history and was able to absorb even more of it at the museum.

The concept of blood sport is a fascinating phenomenon to me. My initial reaction is to reject it and pass judgment on those that would have enjoyed it. However, I can’t really judge it as it (sort of) still exists today. Plenty of people religiously follow and watch thing like MMA or wrestling – bother physically taxing sports that often results in blood and injuries. In general, society is so desensitized by violence that I have to imagine the Romans felt similarly considering how popular blood sport was.

Afterwards, I went on my own in search of the cat sanctuary. It took me a minute to figure it out until I finally realized it was actually down in the ruins at Torre Argentina. Honestly, it was a little underwhelming. I think I imagined more of a cat cafe, so to see that it was just a basement with a few cats in it (most of them were out and about or in a closed off area) was a little disappointing. However, the cats I did see were adorable (no photos allowed) and I bought a bag and a magnet to support their cause.

TW: MANIA/GRIEF TALK – While this trip has been an absolute dream, in more ways than one, it’s also been incredibly hard. Ever since my sister died, I’ve been so consumed with everything going on that I feel like I haven’t had a real chance to grieve and process what happened. Over the last month, the highs have been high and the lows have been low. And I’ve come to learn that the heat and the exhaustion don’t do much for keeping me level headed, so it’s a little too easy for me to spiral some days.

After the cat sanctuary, I was making my way to the apartment when I saw a sign for a walk-in tattoo shop literally across the street. And in my semi-manic state, I said “fuck it, why not?”. (And of course, I did check their reviews before doing anything, I’m not THAT reckless). The tattoo shop, called Wisdomless, was a really cool space. It doubled as a bar/cocktail lounge and gave very dark academia vibes. The guy greeted me and gave me the run down, drew a few examples of what I wanted, and we soon got to business. The tattoo artist was nice, albeit a bit impersonal. It was a very transactional exchange, which I really didn’t mind honestly. I was more than happy to just lay there quietly and get it over with.

While making the decision to get the tattoo on a random Wednesday afternoon in a foreign country was completely impulsive, the tattoo itself was very well thought out and something I’ve wanted for years. Even though it’s just a little red heart, it means a lot to me. My mother has the exact same tattoo in the exact same spot, and I always wanted to get this one for her. When I sent her a picture, she called me crying and told me she absolutely loved it. I’m glad that I get to carry this piece of her with me wherever I go, in my heart and on my heart always.