Rome via Brooklyn

Word count: 468

Time to read: 3 minutes

This will be my first solo trip and I don’t think I know how to feel. I find myself wanting to challenge the parts of me I don’t feel are allowing me to grow. In full transparency, that is incredibly difficult. A few days ago, my family and I watched “Backrooms” in the theater, and while the movie in its entirety garnered mixed reviews by us, I was moved by an adage repeated twice in the film. One of the protagonists said something adjacent to how humans are often trapped by their own mind, where they consistently fall into the same traps over and over, while expecting different results. They clarify that this is a mechanism meant to protect us, as what we repeat is what we know to be safe. 

This is a concept that isn’t foreign to me, and I know some form of it — albeit chopped and screwed — can be found in many works of literature. Right now, though, I feel like it’s exactly what I need to hear. Out of fear of failure, I find myself often doing what I know to be comfortable… what I know won’t surprise me. I feel so frequently like I’m running on a treadmill; I’m making progress, yes, but I’m doing so on the terms that I’ll know there won’t be a crack in the sidewalk, an uphill road, a fallen tree to block my path, or any unforeseen hindrance. I’m running, but I’m in the exact same spot as when I pressed start. 

I’m hoping to be challenged, even when I don’t actually want to be. I don’t know what this next month will look like, but I know I’m looking forward to it. I don’t know how I’ll fare without seeing my family for a month, but you just don’t know until you know. In preparation for the month away, I’ve been trying to spend even more time with my siblings. I traded the time I’d normally spend with myself to just sit and chat with them. to talk about life. I need to prove to them that I can do this just as much as I need to prove it to myself. 

In other news, I’ve been reading our Culture Smart book. I’d never considered getting a book delineating all the minutiae about life in a country I intended on visiting, but it’s a must-item going forward. It’s so important to me that I respect the locals and communities that live in the places I’m merely a tourist in. Culture Smart books are all the research you’d do yourself, consolidated! Plus, there are extra tidbits of information you might’ve not even thought to look up. My favorite quote I’d read is “Don’t be afraid to use your elbows!” That’s very much a New York thing, too!

I’m writing this in the airport, about to board the flight. It’ll all become real when I buckle my seatbelt and am not seated with my family. I’ll be next to strangers with entirely different lives, but for this one moment, we’re all unified by our travel to one place. 

Rome, here I come!