Word count: 585 words
Time to read: 4 minutes
Today started off really chill and uniquely for me. Instead of waking up and quickly changing in hopes of making it to our class destination on time, I slept in. After waking up, I decided to skip breakfast and just walk around the neighborhood. As I’ve said many a time, I just don’t get out back home. I think I’m too scared to. It isn’t the safety that concerns me, I know that, but I don’t know what holds me back.
I ended up finding some souvenirs for home, fulfilling a mission of mine I’ve had on this trip!
In no time, we found ourselves walking to the museum of the day. Upon arriving, we found out we’d just missed Dove Cameron by a few minutes. Even more disappointing was finding out we wouldn’t be able to handle artifacts because of our collaborator’s oversight. It’s just back to back failures, I thought, sort of humored.
We were fortunate to at least see some of the museum, and it was drop-dead gorgeous. On top of that, thanks to Professor Yarrow’s request, we got to see some manuscripts from centuries past. Some of them weren’t even replicas! I left the museum feeling fortunate and grateful.
The preservation of artifacts tends to be a careful collaboration between institutions and their visitors. I think to the quote, “The benefits of their dynamic potential could be reaped in a climate of increased collaboration,” which is something I’m trying to get better at. Sometimes, two minds are better than one.
Later that night, everything seemed to be going normal, until I crashed.
I have to be honest, blogging has helped me so much. I felt like for an extended period of time, I was losing a spark. Being forced to write and ruminate has made me feel so much sharper and better adept at processing my emotions.
I don’t normally do this, but when I felt myself beginning to crash, I started writing. Much of this is rudimentary and not overly embellished, but it made me feel significantly better, and that’s all that matters to me. I hope you can’t relate to this feeling, but that you can understand what I’m getting at. P.S. since WordPress doesn’t allow for blank space, I broke up each section with periods, just to make flow of reading better!
Am I not helping my case?
Am I making it worse?
I go back to my tendencies
The second I feel the atmosphere turn
.
I see it in your face
Or maybe I made it up
I still go back to that place
The one that’s keeping me stuck
.
You laugh, but I don’t
But I desperately want to
To relate and to get it
To feel like I belong, too
.
You’re bored until you’re not
You’re happier when I’m not there
He’s gone and now you don’t want to talk
It hurts to feel like a spare
.
I know I should’ve stayed
My perception in the moment is murky
Could’ve tried to work it out
Think I’m keen on leaving early
.
Your slight pushback drives me to the most extreme
If I’m not reminded every second that with you I’m complete
I decide in that moment that it must mean
That, really, you must just not like me
.
I’m only human, yes, I know I see what I see
But I’ve always known I’m different
Even if different’s not what I want to be
.
You don’t ever use those words in our brief talks alone
Tell me, why did you code switch?
It hurts to see your smile disappear
The second I part my lips
.
So certain I got better
Celebrated the death of my past
Until I’m in faced with the circumstance again
Will I repeat this ‘til my last breath?
.
I can’t help it
And I know you can’t, too
Can’t blame you when to leave
When I run like I always do
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