Rome via Brooklyn

Word count: 486 words

Time to read: 3-4 minutes

I started the day off at Suppli and made my way back to prepare for my presentation today! I’ve been looking forward to sharing all the logistics about chariot racing, as I know we have a few horse-loving people on the trip.

We went to an awesome museum where the reading described its facade as “simple.” That’s definitely not a word I would use to describe the Palazzo Altemps I saw, but I loved every second of it. I’d been wanting to see The Pantheon, and didn’t think I’d have a chance this whole trip. You can imagine I was delighted when I checked the calendar a few days back!

Inside, it was seriously extraordinary. It was crowded but not overbearing, and its ceilings wowed me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen ceilings so tall! I marvel at the fact that this — and everything we’ve seen so far — has been built by the same species as me. I’m so lucky to get to see and perceive it!

Later that day, I was riding off the high of the day, but as soon as everything was great, I had another crash. I realize it always seems to happen at night. Maybe that’s the time I’m most introspective (not for better, but for worse). I get in my head and my avoidance tendencies come out. As I did last time, I put pen to paper and just started writing. This was last night and I’m feeling a lot better now, but here’s what I came up with:

I’ll drive you away, 

Kind of have fun doing it 

I’ll burn every bridge 

‘Til I’m forced to look at the ruins 

.

Just a week or two ago, 

We got on so well

Kind of hate knowing that it’s possible 

At least it took more than a week to drive you away

For me, I think that’s laudable 

.

I’m slightly unhinged and a little bit broken

I do things on my terms, I decide to pass you the token 

The one that grants you access to my insanity 

Not a pass you would have chosen

But the choice isn’t yours 

Once my ego is awoken 

.

Maybe I only close off so that you’ll ask if I’m okay

Felt left out, God forbid I want to be included 

Even if you feel it, you don’t show that you care 

You give me reason to be secluded 

.

No one likes to feel made fun of 

No one likes to to linger behind 

Stuck in my thoughts 

Stuck in my mind 

.

The sound of the night was laughter between you two

But the energy was dark and tense and I couldn’t help but feel blue 

There’s an emotional distance 

A vagueness in our feelings 

Can’t tell if you like or hate me 

Can’t tell what you’re concealing 

.

I’m falling back into my old ways 

And my ways keep me alone 

But for the first time on this trip, 

Alone feels like home